Growing up can be a drag, or it can be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
When I was in high school, I was neither the popular girl nor the geek. I failed to be the campus sweetheart because I was not fair-skinned and slim. I was never the nerd, either. I was too naughty to be one, and with not so impressive grades, no one could really blame me for being gifted. So I was sort of the girl who was just there. I hung out with the cool and fast girls, but I hung out with the muses of the math club, too. In other words, I befriended almost everyone, regardless of their coolness or nerdyness.
In college, I can’t say that I totally fit in. I entered a huge university, wherein teenagers from all points in the Philippines who have some money and real brains go to. I wasn’t as insecure and trusting as I was in high school. I became more wary of people and more certain of what I wanted and expected. I became more independent. My parents are not always there for me during those times I was adjusting. So I really had to depend on me. I thought everyone was boring. Truth was, I was dead scared of everyone.
Mom and Dad are always reminding me to study and work hard. I didn’t want to disappoint them, especially my dad. So I inured myself into that kind of setup. I never went to school unprepared. I always tried to get satisfactory grades. In fact, I became a worrier. My old friends said they missed the happy-go-lucky and full of life Dindin that they once knew. So that was when I began to reassess myself. I thought that maybe I was being too hard on myself. I was always preoccupied about school stuff that I forgot how to have fun. My friends felt that I’ve forgotten them too.
What I did was, I focused only on the important tasks and tried to manage my time. At first, it was hard. But then as I worked my way on it, I just found myself smiling while learning. I tried not to stress on everything. Now, I’m engaged in different extra-curricular activities and became active in some student organizations. Next thing I knew, I am on stage hosting events and concerts in school. I even found a new hobby, and that is photography.
Accounting is not easy. Since it cannot be learned through just reading and memorizing, one has to keep on practicing how to solve problems and understand how it works. It is a skill. One of my biggest goals is to become a CPA someday. I had to show my parents that this is what I really wanted. I never smoked a cigarette, had beer, considered drugs, or did things that will make them think I’m irresponsible. To be fair to all parents, they will always want the best for their kids. It’s just that sometimes things get a little out of hand, because in reality, I’m still a teenager. There were times that I’ve forgotten to tell them how I’ve been doing in school. The good thing about it is there’s always room for explanation no matter how bad it can get. What counts is that if you know yourself enough, you won’t let other people or other things hold you back from becoming your authentic self just because you have to attune to a certain criteria to fit in or look good. I have to set aside other things so as not to misuse the opportunities I’ve been given in this lifetime, too. Because for one, nothing right will come out of any wrong action you do, especially if you let go of your values. Say for example, I refuse going out with my buddies on girls’ nights out, because I know there are lots of important things to do with my time. If they are my real friends, they would understand why I did that. The trade-offs in the choices that one makes are sometimes invisible. Sometimes, it’s too late to turn back when they start popping up, one by one. And before you know it, you’ve lost it.
The things I’ve gone through only made me a stronger person, and being strong gave me the leverage to watch things unfold, things that actually continue to surprise me up to now. So many doors had to close before my eyes for me to find the last one that led me to where I am now. I haven’t accomplished many of my goals yet, but I can tell you one thing: I’m happy where I am and I wouldn’t want it the other way.
When I entered college in 2005, I lost 10 pounds. By the time I got to 3rd year, I lost another 10. My friends teased me about being a late bloomer. But losing weight helped me see people’s true colors. Before, guys would ignore me or make fun of me. Now, they treat me with more respect. No matter what people say, looks really matter. The change in my appearance gave me more confidence, but I never let that get to my head because I know how it feels to be the ugly duckling. It’s really painful.
I also broke up with my first boyfriend. Although he was fun to be with and a good guy, there were times I’d think that he wasn’t the right one for me. There was just something missing. It was sad because we had been together for 2 years. I had depended on him when I was at my most vulnerable. But I realized that my entire wellbeing and happiness shouldn’t depend on one person.
At first, my parents doubted my decisions and choices. But they saw that I eventually pulled through. I now follow my heart in everything that I do. Finally, I know what I want. I don’t want to settle and play it safe. We only have one life. Don’t go down the safe road. There’s just so much more out there.
When I was in high school, I was neither the popular girl nor the geek. I failed to be the campus sweetheart because I was not fair-skinned and slim. I was never the nerd, either. I was too naughty to be one, and with not so impressive grades, no one could really blame me for being gifted. So I was sort of the girl who was just there. I hung out with the cool and fast girls, but I hung out with the muses of the math club, too. In other words, I befriended almost everyone, regardless of their coolness or nerdyness.
In college, I can’t say that I totally fit in. I entered a huge university, wherein teenagers from all points in the Philippines who have some money and real brains go to. I wasn’t as insecure and trusting as I was in high school. I became more wary of people and more certain of what I wanted and expected. I became more independent. My parents are not always there for me during those times I was adjusting. So I really had to depend on me. I thought everyone was boring. Truth was, I was dead scared of everyone.
Mom and Dad are always reminding me to study and work hard. I didn’t want to disappoint them, especially my dad. So I inured myself into that kind of setup. I never went to school unprepared. I always tried to get satisfactory grades. In fact, I became a worrier. My old friends said they missed the happy-go-lucky and full of life Dindin that they once knew. So that was when I began to reassess myself. I thought that maybe I was being too hard on myself. I was always preoccupied about school stuff that I forgot how to have fun. My friends felt that I’ve forgotten them too.
What I did was, I focused only on the important tasks and tried to manage my time. At first, it was hard. But then as I worked my way on it, I just found myself smiling while learning. I tried not to stress on everything. Now, I’m engaged in different extra-curricular activities and became active in some student organizations. Next thing I knew, I am on stage hosting events and concerts in school. I even found a new hobby, and that is photography.
Accounting is not easy. Since it cannot be learned through just reading and memorizing, one has to keep on practicing how to solve problems and understand how it works. It is a skill. One of my biggest goals is to become a CPA someday. I had to show my parents that this is what I really wanted. I never smoked a cigarette, had beer, considered drugs, or did things that will make them think I’m irresponsible. To be fair to all parents, they will always want the best for their kids. It’s just that sometimes things get a little out of hand, because in reality, I’m still a teenager. There were times that I’ve forgotten to tell them how I’ve been doing in school. The good thing about it is there’s always room for explanation no matter how bad it can get. What counts is that if you know yourself enough, you won’t let other people or other things hold you back from becoming your authentic self just because you have to attune to a certain criteria to fit in or look good. I have to set aside other things so as not to misuse the opportunities I’ve been given in this lifetime, too. Because for one, nothing right will come out of any wrong action you do, especially if you let go of your values. Say for example, I refuse going out with my buddies on girls’ nights out, because I know there are lots of important things to do with my time. If they are my real friends, they would understand why I did that. The trade-offs in the choices that one makes are sometimes invisible. Sometimes, it’s too late to turn back when they start popping up, one by one. And before you know it, you’ve lost it.
The things I’ve gone through only made me a stronger person, and being strong gave me the leverage to watch things unfold, things that actually continue to surprise me up to now. So many doors had to close before my eyes for me to find the last one that led me to where I am now. I haven’t accomplished many of my goals yet, but I can tell you one thing: I’m happy where I am and I wouldn’t want it the other way.
When I entered college in 2005, I lost 10 pounds. By the time I got to 3rd year, I lost another 10. My friends teased me about being a late bloomer. But losing weight helped me see people’s true colors. Before, guys would ignore me or make fun of me. Now, they treat me with more respect. No matter what people say, looks really matter. The change in my appearance gave me more confidence, but I never let that get to my head because I know how it feels to be the ugly duckling. It’s really painful.
I also broke up with my first boyfriend. Although he was fun to be with and a good guy, there were times I’d think that he wasn’t the right one for me. There was just something missing. It was sad because we had been together for 2 years. I had depended on him when I was at my most vulnerable. But I realized that my entire wellbeing and happiness shouldn’t depend on one person.
At first, my parents doubted my decisions and choices. But they saw that I eventually pulled through. I now follow my heart in everything that I do. Finally, I know what I want. I don’t want to settle and play it safe. We only have one life. Don’t go down the safe road. There’s just so much more out there.
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